2/25: Recovery

What a ghastly Oscars. I gave up at 10:30. I have only a handful of witty observations:

1. It is a little know fact that Seth MacFarlane is still smarting from being fired from the original cast of Glee. After unsuccessfully trying to grab Lea Michele’s boob, he thought it would be funny to try out his “You’ve Got AIDS” barbershop quartet number, later immortalized on Family Guy. Jane Lynch went all haywire on his ass. Ok, that’s all made up (except for the barbershop quartet number, which alas, is real). But man. What a creep. Also, is he Peter Brady?

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2. I REALLY wanted Emanuelle Riva to win. She should have. Barring that, I really hoped children would suddenly run out from underneath Jennifer Lawrence’s dress.

3. Not only was Robert de Niro visibly surprised and annoyed that he didn’t win, he acted like a 10-year-old who wants his mom to know that he absolutely does not appreciate the fact that he was dragged to watch her get an award if he’s not getting one himself.

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Look, I reserve the right to bail when Oscars bore the shit out of me, but I also don’t get paid millions of dollars to do what I’ve done for the last decade, which in DeNiro’s case is play a grouchy, formerly cool old guy. That would be like me getting millions of dollars to play a 50-year-old woman who just got back from Honduras and is typing a blog post right now, as in NOT A STRETCH. In other words, grow up already.

4. The live action short subject is starting to look as rigged for the US as ice dancing used to be for Russia. Two years in a row, lesser American movies have beaten much more interesting and frankly better-made movies from elsewhere. Curfew had a very cute kid, but the writing was lame and predictable. Come on, folks. These are shorts. You can knock ’em all out in a day and give that Oscar to someone who deserves it.

Huffington Post is having a grand old time unearthing Oscar embarassments, including a fashion walk of shame, featuring this memorable Demi Moore creation:

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(Can’t you just see Bruce thinking “If I look in a faraway direction, I will actually become invisible”?)

Earlier in the week, Huff ran a “worst Oscars moments ever” which looks to have been culled almost verbatim from this post over at Dose in Canada. The original also has nice moments too. Although it’s all arguable, because, really, David Letterman wasn’t THAT bad. And as far as write-ups on last night’s shenanigans, I liked this take from npr.

Meanwhile, this slideshow of frozen moments over at vulture is the absolute best.

Thank God it’s over, right?

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